


Love, Hellmouth Style

by seldomifever



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, F/M, Older Man/Younger Woman, Post-Episode s04e08 Pangs, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25895104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seldomifever/pseuds/seldomifever
Summary: Buffy and Giles talk.
Relationships: Rupert Giles/Buffy Summers
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	Love, Hellmouth Style

"You're stalling."

"Am not. I just have to finish my nails before we go. A Slayer should always look her sparkly best. See my new polish? Glittery!"

"Yes, charming. And this urgent need to make your nails shine has nothing to do with the fact that you are afraid to tell your mother?" 

"What? No, of course, not. I can’t wait to tell my mom. She’ll be so happy. A daughter who fights evil dead by night and has unprotected sex with her ex-high school librarian by day. What mother wouldn’t be proud?"

"Buffy..."

"No, Giles, really. I’m sure Mom’ll be just thrilled to hear how you took advantage of me."

"Took - took advantage of you? I was the one under the spell!"

"Yes, but I didn’t know it at the time. How could I? You were so...convincing."

"Really, Buffy, you didn’t find it rather odd that after all these years, I would suddenly come on as some kind of sex-crazed lothario?" 

"Sex-crazed, huh? Is that a thing?" 

"Buffy..."

"Either way, you seduced me, Giles."

"Under duress."

"Duress?" 

"It’s not as if I was acting on my own free will."

"Oh, God. You don’t want to have this baby, do you?"

"Of course, I do. I only meant, that is to say, that although I certainly hadn’t foreseen our lives taking this turn, I’m now very much a willing participant in this venture." 

"Willing participant? Venture? And they say romance is dead. You don’t want to have this baby."

"Buffy..."

"God, I knew it. You were just pretending to be happy. You know, it’s not as if this was part of my master plan, Giles. Knocked up at eighteen. I thought I’d finish college, get a good job, meet a nice boy, maybe."

"Buffy..."

"But, but now it’s happened, and I guess I never really believed it would, and it might be the only chance I have to have a baby. Slayers aren’t exactly known for their lastiness."

"Buffy!"

"What?"

"I meant what I said."

"Which part? The part about these past few weeks being the best of your life and how you can’t wait to marry me, or the part you didn’t foresee?"

"Yes."

"That wasn’t a yes or no question. Which is it?" 

"All of it? Perhaps our relationship didn’t begin as it should have, but I haven’t regretted one moment of our time together. I love you, Buffy. I always have. I suppose, I simply hadn’t realized _how_ until—"

"Until Willow’s wonky post-Thanksgiving spell-tacular?"

"Aptly put, as ever. Now, please, do finish up. Your mother ought to be home by now."

"You’re really not afraid of how she’s gonna take this?" 

"I’m terrified if you must know. That’s why I am convinced it would be best if we told her straight away."

"Nice and quick, like tearing off a Band-Aid?" 

"Well, yes. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to get this over with as soon as possible."

"Giles, I’m sure it’s really not going to make much of a diff if we tell her after my nails dry. She is going to have a major wigfest. She still calls you 'that man,’ you know. Not to mention the whole band candy incident."

"Let’s not mention, ever." 

"What’s with you and spells, anyway? Do they always turn you into some kind – what did you call it – 'lothario'? My mother thought you were a stevedore. What is that? Is that like a lothario? Oh my God, Giles, it just occurred to me—"

"Oh, Lord."

"What? No, I was just going to say when you two were on the hood of that police car—"

"Please, please don’t."

"You and Mom probably weren’t thinking any more clearly than you and I were that first time. I mean, unless you carry some protection on you—"

"Buffy, I am begging you not to finish this line of thought."

"Like in your wallet, maybe? Did you say beg?"

"Hm? Yes, yes, anything to end this, this—"

"Anything? Mmm, I like that. Then, if I can have anything I want, I want to wait."

"Wait?"

"To tell her."

"Buffy, we’ve been over this. You agreed—"

"Just ‘til after Christmas, Giles, I promise. We can break my mother’s heart first thing the very next day." 

"But she’s leaving for Mexico on the 26th. You said she’d be gone the entire week." 

"See? Even better. We’ll tell her after New Year’s. Think about it, Giles, you and me, alone, holed up here, eating take out, watching old movies. You, painting my toenails, me, letting you..."

"Isn’t that what we’ve been doing?"

"Yes, but that was before we knew about Rupert Junior here. Don’t you think it might be nice to have some time to adjust _before_ people start yelling at us?"

"You have a point. Rupert Junior? I must say, I like the sound of that."

"Don’t say. Please don’t say. Rupert’s not gonna make our shortlist, Giles. I mean, it’s fine for someone old-er. And British. But an American boy named Rupert? Might as well call him Kick Me."

"A-American boy?"

"Yeah, this is California. What did you think?"

"I suppose I didn’t think. Good Lord, Buffy."

"Breathe, Giles. This is of the good. Everything’s going to be just fine."

"Yes. Yes, of course, you’re right. If your mother doesn’t kill me, I’m sure everything will be just fine. I’ll raise my American child atop a Hellmouth, with my teenaged Slayer wife, fighting to protect us against untold evil."

"Well, when you put it like that..."

"Honestly, Buffy, I don’t think—"

"Giles?"

"There is anywhere I’d rather be."


End file.
